"I am constantly torn between wanting to improve myself and wanting to destroy myself." / by Kelsey Hamaguchi

Just read this quote a little while ago and it really resonated with me...I've been so focused lately on trying to get my life together. I think about the time I wasted over the past three years...pretty much destroying myself. I graduated, came home, and continued living like an irresponsible preteen. I put off the job search after being rejected and pretty much gave up, settling for the restaurant industry...a job I hated that made me miserable all the time. I put the job search on the back burner, not even applying for ones that appealed to me because I didn't want to be rejected. I convinced myself I wasn't good enough, yet I looked at everyone else getting hired at jobs similar to ones I've always wanted and wondered why I couldn't be as lucky. I fell into the trap of making fast money and not not being conscious of how much I was spending. I'm kicking myself for not saving the entire time I was making good money. However, I'm grateful for the experience I had because it gave me the opportunity to work on my weaknesses and helped me come to the realization that money isn't everything. I know, I just talked about saving and what not, but I'm so much happier doing the things I enjoy that the lack of money almost makes up for it. I've had to do a 180 with my lifestyle and am still in the process of changing, but that's how life goes. You need to constantly change and grow to adapt with whatever situations are thrown your way. Anyway, now I'm focused on improving myself. I want to be better for me. I want to prove to myself that I'm capable of doing all the things I've always wanted to do. However, I've been so busy playing catch up with my finances and getting my responsibilities in check that I've thrown myself back into depression. I'm happy with where I am in life, yet I'm too busy worrying about other things to just enjoy it. I'm destroying myself again. Now that I recognize what I'm doing, I can work on fixing it. 

Anyway, that was a long boring blog post. Here are some photos I took a couple weeks back at Wa'ahila Ridge, all shot with the Rokinon 14mm lens. Unfortunately we started the hike later in the day and the sun was setting when we reached the top, making it difficult for me to get the right exposures. Pretty bummed golden hour happened while I was surrounded with trees and I was more concerned about getting back to the car before the park closed. Haha. Oh well, it was fun and beautiful, and I definitely want to go back again!